Chapter 38
Chapter 38
I had a long dream.
I don’t remember it, but it was incredibly beautiful and radiant.
So wonderful that I never wanted to wake up.
But when I opened my eyes, realizing that the world I had believed to be reality was just a fleeting dream, and that this horrible world was the true reality…
I despaired.
“…”
A strange ceiling.
I couldn’t move my body.
All I could do was blink.
Someone was by my side.
I turned my head slightly to see their face.
It wasn’t the face I had expected.
It wasn’t the person I had hoped for.
“…Hana.”
Kim Si woo’s voice trembled pitifully.
I opened my mouth to speak.
Even my voice wouldn’t come out easily.
After several tries, I finally managed to speak.
“Sophie…?”
“…Sophie?”
“I saw Sophie.”
—
Rachel explained in a calm tone.
“God helped you.”
“…”
“There was just one tree where you fell. If you hadn’t hit that, it wouldn’t have been a branch that broke—it would’ve been your neck.”
I imagined Hana lying alone in her hospital room.
A girl wrapped in bandages, unable to leave her bed on her own.
“Still, her injuries are severe. She’ll be bedridden for at least two weeks.”
“As soon as Hana regained consciousness… she kept saying she saw Sophie.”
“It’s probably because she’s just regained her senses. She can’t tell dreams from reality.”
Si woo shook his head in denial.
“I don’t think so. She said she saw it clearly, right before she fell off the rooftop. She said their eyes met.”
“What do you think? Do you believe her?”
“…”
After a long hesitation, the boy finally answered.
“…I don’t know.”
“Do you know what this is?”
Rachel took something out and showed it to Si woo.
It was a syringe.
“Isn’t it a syringe?”
“It’s the painkiller Hana was using. It’s so strong that it’s not available on the market.”
“…Then did the doctor prescribe it?”
“No. She said she bought it herself from a pharmacy.”
Si woo frowned.
“You said it wasn’t available in stores.”
“That’s what’s strange. How did Hana get her hands on this drug? The pharmacy she mentioned denies ever selling it.”
“…”
What on earth does that mean?
Where did Hana get this painkiller?
“This drug has a high addictive potential and severe side effects, just like its powerful effects. It’s right on the edge between medicine and narcotic.”
Rachel transferred the substance in the syringe into a test tube, explaining as she did so.
“Upon use, it calms the mind and gives a dazed sensation. It dulls the senses and helps you forget pain. Over time, it clouds the mind, and with excessive use, it causes hallucinations and auditory distortions.”
“…”
“Do you still believe the ‘Sophie’ Hana saw was real?”
Hana’s words might not be a lie.
But she might be deceiving herself as well.
Si woo gritted his teeth and asked.
“Was Hana suffering that much?”
“Nobody knows how much she was hurting. She never revealed any illness. Unless she opens up to someone or leans on them, no one will know.”
Rachel looked at the boy with a complicated expression.
“I hoped you could be that support for her.”
“…”
“When Hana came in with her wrists full of scars, I saw you rushing to her, and I hoped…”
“I…”
A heavy silence lingered briefly.
Then she sighed and continued.
“I’m not blaming you. I believed Hana would get better if she found someone to lean on. Even though she’s distanced herself now.”
Si woo’s expression twisted.
Will he never be able to fill Sophie’s place?
“I don’t know how you’ll take this, but don’t see Hana as a burden.”
“A burden… She’s not that to me.”
“She’ll struggle more and more. Trying to forcefully save her might cause you to lose your own happiness.”
For a moment, Si woo stood there, barely breathing.
Then, after a long pause, he spoke in a low voice.
“So… Are you saying I should give up on Hana?”
“What I mean is that, ultimately, you must consider yourself most important. You may not understand now, and it’s okay to hate me for saying this.”
“…”
In the end, Si woo couldn’t answer.
“You should go. If anything happens, call me anytime.”
After leaving the clinic, Si woo hesitated for a moment before moving.
I should hurry.
Hana must be waiting.
—
As he walked down the hallway, he stopped abruptly.
He called out to the person approaching him from the opposite side.
“…Hong Yeonhwa.”
Her expression was frozen.
The only hint of emotion was the slight twitch of her eyebrows as she met his gaze.
She strode toward him.
And then—
Bang!
She grabbed his collar and shoved him against the wall.
Si woo didn’t resist.
“Explain.”
“…Explain what?”
“I won’t ask twice. Explain everything.”
“Hana got hurt. She fell from the rooftop, but miraculously survived. She just regained consciousness, so…”
Wham.
Her fist hit his stomach.
Si woo exhaled sharply from the unhesitating blow.
“You bastard. Don’t make excuses—explain yourself. What were you doing when your precious childhood friend fell from that rooftop?!”
“…I didn’t know! I didn’t know she was in that much pain… You’re no different from me.”
She let go of his collar, and Si woo slumped against the wall.
“Kim Si woo. I didn’t know you could be such garbage.”
Her words were icy cold.
There was no hint of goodwill in them.
Only disgust and hostility.
“Do you think I don’t know? You and that pink-haired girl—what did you do to Hana? And now you’re saying you didn’t know how much she was hurting?”
“…”
“And you still consider yourself… her closest friend?”
Yeonhwa’s anger grew stronger.
“Damn! Yeah, everyone’s happy and forgiving, making up with each other—good for you! But damn it, at least you should be on her side no matter what. Isn’t that right? At least you should have been…”
“…”
Si woo kept his mouth shut.
“Pathetic bastard.”
After glaring at him for a while, Yeonhwa turned and began walking away.
Si woo finally spoke up.
“…Are you not going to visit Hana?”
Yeonhwa stopped in her tracks and replied with a trembling voice.
“You’re right. You and I are the same. What face could I possibly show her now… damn it.”
With that, Yeonhwa ran off into the distance.
After a long while, Si woo slowly stood up.
“…”
They’re all right.
The nurse’s words, and Hong Yeonhwa’s words—they’re all right.
As he is now, he can’t fill Sophie’s place.
Perhaps Hana has already crossed a river that can’t be turned back from.
Worrying now is just an obsession; it doesn’t help Hana at all.
If anything, he’s just pulling himself deeper into the swamp along with her.
But
Even so…
I still can’t abandon Hana.
Feeling responsible for how things turned out isn’t wrong.
But beyond that, there’s something much more important.
It’s Hana.
She’s my closest friend.
Hana Yoo, as she is, is reason enough.
Maybe, as the nurse warned, I’ll end up falling with her.
Even if a happy ending for everyone is impossible, as Yeonhwa said.
Then at least, I should protect the most precious person.
At least for now.
Hana is what matters most.
Resolute, Si woo walked toward the hospital room where Hana was.
As he approached the closed door, it opened automatically.
Someone inside had opened it.
And as the door opened, he came face to face with Juhyun, who was just stepping out.
“…”
“…”
The two boys locked eyes.
After a brief silence, Juhyun spoke first.
“Hi? You came to visit too?”
“…Yeah. Looks like you were just leaving.”
“Yeah.”
Si woo wanted to see Hana inside, but Juhyun was blocking his view.
Stay calm.
This guy isn’t a competitor or enemy.
He’s more like a strong ally who can be there for Hana and support her.
Yeah. Maybe a lover is better than a childhood friend.
“…”
A hint of bitterness lingered.
What is this feeling?
I never saw Hana that way.
“Um… Could you move so I can get through?”
“Sure.”
As he watched Juhyun leave, Si woo shook his head and went into the hospital room.
Hana lay quietly in bed, just as she had been before he left.
Forcing a smile, he approached her.
“I’m here. How are you feeling?”
“Oh, Si woo.”
Surprisingly, Hana didn’t seem in a bad mood.
A faint smile was on her face.
Taking this as a good sign, Si woo resolved himself.
Yeah. It’s not too late yet.
Let’s start rebuilding, step by step.
“Si woo.”
“Yeah?”
“Where’s Sophie? Have you found her?”
“…”
This isn’t good.
Hana had believed Sophie was dead.
But ever since she regained consciousness, she seemed convinced Sophie was alive.
“When is Sophie coming? Class must be over by now. She’ll come soon, right?”
Come to think of it, he hadn’t told her yet.
What he heard from the student council president about the investigation.
Even though they hadn’t found a body, all signs pointed to Sophie being dead.
Even if she wasn’t, there was no way the blue eyes Hana had seen on the rooftop belonged to the real Sophie.
Si woo hesitated for a moment before deciding to tell her the truth.
“Hana… I think the person you saw wasn’t Sophie.”
“Huh? What are you talking about? That can’t be.”
Hana laughed, as if she’d heard a ridiculous joke.
Her reaction only made it more heartbreaking.
Biting his lip, Si woo said it once more.
“No, I’m not joking. Sophie’s gone.”
“Stop it. I’ll get mad.”
“Sophie’s dead.”
“Liar.”
Seeing Hana continue to deny it, Si woo finally shouted.
“She’s dead! Sophie’s dead! She’s gone now!”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“…”
“She’s right behind you.”
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