Chapter 42
Chapter 42
He was confused.
He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
No, it would be more accurate to say he didn’t want to believe it.
Why had he been so relieved, so complacent? Telling himself that everything was fine, that they could rebuild from scratch.
In reality, not a single thing had been properly resolved.
Hana’s illness was still ongoing, unresolved. Sophie’s death remained a bitter mystery. And he hadn’t even grasped the nature of the relationship between Hana and that guy. He knew nothing.
As if under a spell, he had only looked at Hana’s bright smile and believed that nothing was wrong.
But he shouldn’t have done that.
Si woo clenched his teeth.
He couldn’t see clearly from here. The small window wasn’t enough to make out what they were doing inside.
What should he do?
Should he go in?
But what would he say?
No, this wasn’t the time to worry about that.
He could come up with an excuse later. He could even just honestly say he was worried about Hana.
He had to check what was going on inside that lab.
Determined, Si woo grabbed the door handle.
Clunk.
“…!”
The door wouldn’t open.
It was locked.
He tried several times, but it was no use.
Why was it locked?
What could they possibly be doing there?
His anxiety kept growing.
No matter how much he tried to stay calm, it was getting harder to keep his composure.
Should he break down the door?
But breaking down a locked door was different from just opening it. Once he did that, there was no going back.
“…”
A brief hesitation.
Then Si woo made up his mind.
Just as he was about to apply force to break down the door—
“Student? Is there a problem?”
He instantly released the door handle and stepped back at the voice from beside him.
It was the vice-principal, a familiar middle-aged man with an eyepatch and a beard.
“Oh….”
“What’s the matter? Hm. By your name tag, you seem to be a second-year student. You’ve been standing in front of the first-year science lab door for a while. What are you doing?”
“…Nothing. I’ll be on my way.”
Flustered, Si woo quickly left.
“Hm…”
The vice-principal, who didn’t bother stopping the boy, looked at the science lab with the lights still on. He lingered there for a moment, then quietly walked away.
The lights in the lab stayed on for a long time.
—
That night.
A night when reality and illusion mixed together, making it impossible to tell truth from fiction.
In the end, I succumbed to the snake’s temptation and took a bite of the forbidden fruit.
I gave in to sweet pleasure.
The reward was indescribable, thrilling beyond words.
It felt like an electric current coursing through my entire body from my head down. As if I were bathing in water called pleasure.
“Haaa… Ah…!”
“You look happy. It’s a good look for you.”
“Enough… This is… enough…”
But I knew.
This drug wasn’t something purely good.
Once you’re addicted, it’s impossible to forget.
A powerful drug.
It felt wonderful, yet terrifying at the same time.
If I got addicted to this strawberry?
Everything would end.
That wasn’t a guess. It was a certainty.
Once the effect finally wore off, I repeated it to myself dozens of times.
This is it. No more.
If I take even one step further, there’s no turning back.
“Do you want more? There are no side effects to this drug, after all.”
“…Get lost.”
As if I’d believe that.
Even if there truly were no side effects, that would only make it worse.
If this drug offered only pure pleasure, there’d be no way to avoid addiction.
Surprisingly, the snake backed off easily at my firm refusal, though with a displeased smile.
“I won’t force it. The choice is yours.”
“…”
“Then, I’ll leave you to rest.”
When he left, I was alone in the room again.
No, there was one more person.
That night.
A night marred by pain and pleasure, intertwined together.
Sophie, much clearer now, was perched by the window and asked,
‘Is that happiness you feel real?’
No. This is fake.
This isn’t true happiness.
But
Right now, I had no choice but to rely on it.
I was too tired, too worn out.
For hours after that, my brain was soaked in the drug, drowning in pleasure.
Whenever sorrow threatened to rise, overwhelming happiness drowned it out.
Despair was replaced by groundless hope.
Finally, when the drug’s effect completely wore off,
Only endless despair surrounded me.
—
The next morning, the snake quietly visited the girl’s hospital room.
The sight that met him was exactly as he expected.
A girl completely broken under an unbearable weight of despair.
She was slumped in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall, her tears falling without end.
The snake approached her and spoke.
“You seem to be in a lot of pain.”
“…Sorry, Sophie. I’m sorry, Sophie. I’m sorry.”
“You might mistake the medicine I gave you for a drug, but it’s something entirely different.”
The girl kept mumbling meaningless apologies to herself, seeming not to hear him at all.
The snake continued talking regardless.
“It deceives the brain, making all negative emotions and pain feel positive. It reverses them. That’s all it does—no other effects at all.”
“…Sophie. I’m sorry.”
“It really doesn’t have any other effect. It’s a drug that has no use for happy people. It’s as harmless as a simple vitamin.”
But for the broken, the unhappy, the despairing, it brings happiness.
Without any cost. Without any side effects.
So, it’s not a drug.
It’s an elixir of happiness.
“Not a drug, but a miracle elixir.”
Explaining further was pointless.
Words weren’t enough—experiencing it was the best proof.
The snake took out the pill.
“Today is different from yesterday. A new day has dawned.”
“…”
“So, what will you choose? The decision is yours.”
For the first time, focus returned to the girl’s hazy eyes.
She fixated on the pill in his hand.
Without a word, she slowly reached out.
Just as her fingers touched the pill,
The pill withdrew just slightly.
The snake whispered.
“This time, there is a condition.”
“…What is it?”
Her voice was hoarse from crying, trembling with intense yearning.
She wanted the pill desperately.
“It’s simple. Be true to yourself.”
“…To what?”
“Be true to your life. To your studies, your friendships, your daily routine, your relationships, your life. Live it fully.”
The snake’s sharp gaze penetrated her.
“What do you choose?”
The girl stared blankly.
She looked at the snake.
She looked past him to where Sophie was leaning against the opposite wall.
Hana asked,
What should I do?
Sophie answered,
“…Alright. I’ll do it.”
“A wise choice. I assure you. You won’t regret it.”
He handed her a single pill.
The girl swallowed the strawberry without hesitation.
All the negative emotions and pain
reversed.
“Haa! Ahhh…!”
“May you be as happy as you were in pain. And remember to keep your promise. I’ll be checking.”
Leaving the girl drowning in pleasure, unable to respond, the snake departed.
A few moments later, a boy walked into the room and found her lying on the bed, lost in a haze of pleasure.
—
Class ended.
Kim Si Woo suggested going to a café.
To be honest, I wanted to go.
As much as I hate to admit it, talking to him isn’t bad.
Sitting at a café, drinking warm milk, and chatting—
It actually sounded pretty nice.
But I declined.
I had somewhere else to be.
Today, I felt happy.
Because I’d taken the pill he gave me in the morning.
No matter what I did, I would have felt happy.
Even if I’d locked myself in my dorm and spent the entire day slashing my wrists, I would have felt blissfully happy.
The only reason I rushed to be discharged and actively attended class was simple.
Because he told me to.
Because he said he’d give me more if I did.
I tried to live fully.
It wasn’t bad.
I even felt the illusion of happiness.
It was only an illusion, of course.
In the end, this happiness is all just ‘fake,’ created by the pill.
Real happiness was shattered the moment Sophie died.
‘Are you sure?’
Sophie, who was walking beside me, asked.
Honestly, I don’t know.
Maybe I can find real happiness.
But it’s too hard.
I can’t endure it.
Quickening my pace, I headed toward the science lab.
Truthfully, I’d been nearing my limit for a while.
The pill’s effect was starting to fade.
I burst into the lab as soon as I arrived.
I was greeted by that guy’s calm, infuriating expression.
“Welcome.”
“The pill.”
“How was your day at the academy?”
“I did what you asked. Now give me the pill.”
“Hmm. Could you tell me a bit more?”
I bit my lip.
Is he doing this on purpose?
Just to torment me?
I’m frustrated.
Depressed.
Anxious.
Nervous.
A whirlwind of emotions started swirling within me.
“I’ll tell you everything! Just give me the pill first, okay?”
I clung to him, desperate.
He furrowed his brow and pushed me away.
His gaze briefly shifted to the door.
“Very well. This is what you need,
right?”
He took out the pill from his pocket.
A strawberry. Sweet, delicious strawberries.
I need that.
“But there’s a condition.”
“…What? Again?”
“It’s nothing difficult. Just a simple request.”
A mysterious smile played on his lips.
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